Daile

  My name is Daile. I am 34 years old and a mother of three boys. I know God is real because He lives inside of me today. For the past 22 years I have been a chronic drug addict. Cocaine and ecstasy had complete control over my mind, my actions and my life. It made me chase all the things that only satisfied the flesh and that were only temporary. No matter how much I had I always wanted more. That chase for something to fill me and make me happy let me on a road away from my children. It caused me to eventually abandon my two oldest boys to their fathers. I had a lot of shame and guilt, bitterness and resentment became my two best friends. All of that later turned into hatred. So I just went on an even bigger chase only this time it began to be never ending. All I cared about then was me, myself and I and how I was going to get high 24/7. Morning and night I wanted to get high so I made that my job, since I couldn’t hold a real one for very long. I became very codependent, so I could maintain my habit. I needed someone in my life emotionally as well. After a while that never worked out either because I was so angry, I became hateful and hostile. I hated everyone because I hated myself for all the things I had unforgiveness towards. This kept me in a fast and now more self-destructive lifestyle. I began to think that true loving families were just a fairytale, so I began to desire even more drugs more often.   I had no cares or worries or anxiety while intoxicated out of my mind, so my main goal became to stay that way. I didn’t care who I hurt. I didn’t want to be that way, but nothing good lived inside of me at that time. It was a very dark time with a lot of mental torment and condemnation. My life was completely and absolutely insane until the day I cried out to Jesus and told Him I hated who I created, I became a monster. I asked God to change me and take control of my life. I told Him He had to make me stop liking drugs because as much as I hated them, I loved them. He is faithful, willing and able. He did exactly what I asked Him and more. Jesus saved me from myself. Today with His help I am able to turn my back on drugs and say “NO.” I don’t need or even want them anymore. The thought of drugs makes me nauseous today. God has completely changed my desires and needs. Today I am able to fix my eyes on Godly things, on things from above.   I just want to know God more and more every day. My desire is to love Him more. I desire to be a good and faithful servant to the one and only true living God. What He can do for one He is faithful to do for another. He saved not only me, but also my beautiful son Nathan, who I was pregnant with. He could have been born addicted to drugs, brain damaged or dead. Because God is so good and loving, Nathan is healthy and happy. He smiles and laughs a lot. He is a true blessing and God-send in my life. God creates ALL things new. Today I am not just a mother, but a Godly mother, willing and able to raise my son as a child of righteousness. Today, God guides me into green pastures and leads me besides still waters. I know only He will never lead me astray. He calms all my storms and He is also my friend. I know He will never leave me nor forsake me because He lives in my heart. Today I cast all my cares on Him for He cares for me. His yoke is easy and His burden light. I don’t have to worry anymore. God did not give me a spirit of anxiety, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. I can forgive myself today because He forgives me. I can love Him and show love to others because He loved me first. Today I have a great family. I am surrounded by people who love me with Godly hearts and pure motives. I have amazingly strong women in my life, who set high standards and great examples in my life. They help to teach me how to live a godly life without compromise. They help me to press on and persevere. Thanks Mary’s Song and Pastor Parris. I have a godly family now. I am part of God’s kingdom family now. God is full of blessings and gives abundantly and beyond. Through the grace of God, I will be able to go back to Blue Cliff and finish my last semester and graduate their massage therapy program. God is also blessing me with an apartment paid for a year and furniture. Wow, God is amazing! He’s given me and Nathan a new beginning. He is my rock, He is my fortress, and my God in whom I will trust. The Holy Spirit has also restored my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Today I have hope and faith He will also restore my relationship with Jacob and Skyler (my two oldest boys). He is a God of restoration. I have faith He will restore all things the enemy has stolen. He is changing the things the enemy meant for evil and turning them into good things to be used in His kingdom! Today I am a God chaser, not a life waster! He is worthy, I will praise His Holy Name all the days of my life.