On January 10, 2015, God put a new song in my mouth (psalms 40:3), spinning me around and around, reminding me daily of who He is, and who I am in Him. Before Christ, I was hopeless, fearful, insecure and full of guilt. Guilt of never being good enough, guilt of disappointing everyone in my life, guilt for getting pregnant at a young age, being an unstable mother, and guilt for never facing my issues. That guilt quickly turned into infinite fear of messing up! I ran from anything and everything that rooted back to my worth. Even my own husband and son. I was in such a pursuit of the perfect life, that my ‘perfect life’ became darker and darker day by day. So much so, that nothing could eliminate the pain anymore. Nothing satisfied and nothing could quench this longing for something more. Death began to overtake my very being, but life itself stepped in and tore the veil. God opened my eyes to a whole new reality. The terror of my failing marriage, broken family and endless struggles quickly began to diminish in the presence of God’s beauty. Christ suddenly became the very center of my attention, he completely captivated my heart, with just ONE glimpse of his love. I knew right then that I would never be the same. A supernatural trust in Christ formed as I surrendered my life into his hands. Moment by moment, darkness began to flee, and behold the light of the world, Jesus Christ, began to make all things new in my life. About 4 months into the program, the Mary’s Song girls and I had the privilege to attend the annual women’s prayer and fasting retreat. That Friday morning during a passionate moment of worship and prayer, I began to cry out to God… “Lord, save my husband! Do whatever you have to do, for the sake of his salvation and for being the father of our son. Lord, regardless if our future lies together or not, do what only you can do in his life. Your will be done, I trust you…” That night, I called my family in excitement to share of my experience at the women’s retreat, little did I know that my excitement could be elevated to complete awe and wonder by the news that my husband had just been accepted into a faith based program that same day!! Tears of complete joy and gratitude filled my very eyes, for my countless prayers have been faithfully answered! This is the God of restoration! This is the God of unfailing hope! God has truly given me beauty for ashes. He’s pulling my marriage out of darkness into his marvelous light, restoring my relationship with my family and son and transforming me daily into the godly wife and mother he has called me to be, placing an unshakeable dependence and security in Him and his word; and because of Christ, there is beauty in my brokenness, there is a way when there seems to be no way, there is a hope for the hopeless, and there is a light that shines through the darkness, and even when I cannot see, still I believe. For His love is never ending, never changing, and never failing. I have learned to never fear changes when my Lord God never changes, He is the same yesterday, today and forever, He is beside me, never changing. Once you get a taste of life eternal, all the earth’s attempts to quench your thirst will fail. I have finally found my passionate pursuit. For my true satisfaction lies in Christ alone, and I can confidently say that God has completely captivated my life. Without Christ I have nothing! I was on the path of destruction, but He pulled me out for greater purposes. “For whom have I in heaven but you? And Earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Psalms 73: 25-26).