I’ve been at Mary’s Song for four months. This is actually my third time in the program. The first time I spent ten months. The second time I completed one year. Before coming back this time) I was gripped with the question) “what is wrong with me? Why can’t I seem to keep it together Lord? I guess I’m doomed to a life of failure and regret!’ During my stay here this time the Lord has shown me so much. I’m so grateful for God’s faithfulness. He doesn’t ever give up on us. He finishes what he started. I was wrapped up in many chains of guilt) shame) fear and rebellion. My heart had many locked doors from years of trauma. Things that were done to me and also things that I’d done to myself. I was running around in this whirlwind of striving to please others and striving for God’s approval; trying to earn his love! Anytime something else traumatic would happen) I would run back to my old way of doing things to numb the pain through drinking or drugs. I knew something wasn’t right but I could never quite understand what it was.
In worship one morning as I was sitting there I saw the Lord with a big huge key and He came and unlocked my heart. In that moment I had this flood of emotions come out. I felt like this little girl came out) it was me and I was afraid but then He came and wrapped His arms of love around me and comforted that little girl and healed her. His perfect love came and cast out all my fears: fear of rejection were gone. I had a vivid understanding of what Jesus Christ did for me when He took my place on that cross. He took my shame) my guilt and all my fears and nailed them there.
I’m so grateful) thankful) blessed for Mary’s Song and the beautiful leaders God has placed in my life. This is the vehicle He’s used to set me free. Thank you Lord I know what it feels like to breath again.