I’ve been a sad, angry, drug addict roaming from place to place in search of true love for 28 years. Nothing ever satisfied my cravings. Nothing was ever fulfilling. One was never enough and one thousand was too many. I lived a life in and out of jail, almost ended up in a psych ward, suffered severe depression, and battled severe suicidal thoughts many days. Almost 8 years ago I was arrested two times back-to-back. God gave me a choice: go to prison for a long time or go to Mary’s Song. I chose to leave behind my old life and pick up my cross to follow Jesus. Two months into the program I found out I was pregnant. Not only did Jesus leave the 99 to save the one, but He saved my son also. That is a miracle.
Jesus started His great work in me and I was healed of many emotional issues and the condition of my mind. My heart also began to improve. I learned all about the life of Jesus and His ministry. After graduating from Mary’s Song five years ago, I thought I was good. I got my dream job, dream career, dream life, and all of the staples that came with it. Little did I know that these things became my identity and became my idols. Two years later, my life began to spiral downhill. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and became an enormous handful that I didn’t know how to handle on my own. Instead of reaching out to the church and crying out to Jesus, I isolated because I was ashamed, embarrassed, and felt like a failure and a horrible mom. The stress became extremely overwhelming. When I got to my breaking point, I started to smoke cigarettes, which progressed to drinking on weekends, and then to smoking weed again. It was all an extremely gradual process. I tried to manage stress and cope with life in all the wrong ways again.
Two years ago I ended up in a nightmare of a relationship to say the least. The rabbit hole just got deeper and deeper. On July 4, 2020, I went to a party. I was just going to let loose a little. I thought that I was taking ecstasy and acid, but 15 days later I was still messed up. 15 days later, I drug tested myself and tested positive for meth and PCP. It put me into a drug psychosis for 15 days. I was extremely suicidal and thought I was never going to come out of it and would be stuck that way. I was completely out of my box. The bible says that after we clean our house, seven worse demons will come back. Well, that’s what was exactly what I felt like, as if something had completely taken over my body and my mind. It was horrible! I prayed and called out to Jesus and to Rachel at Mary’s Song. She welcomed me back with open and loving arms. God has healed my mind and today I am sane again. I can think clearly! I learned about God the first time at Mary’s Song, but that was just head knowledge. Experiencing the love of God is what is truly transforming my life and renewing my mind. I am so thankful that He didn’t leave me that way. He saved me from myself and has set me free from mental torment and drug addiction. Jesus did for me what I could not do for myself. He literally has given me the mind of Christ and peace. Without Him I am nothing. Now I live for Him and to tell of His goodness. Jesus started a great work in me and by faith He will complete it.