Remember

Written by: Jenn Holloway
Psalms 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the Lord ; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction out of the Miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

David writes about the time when he was in the slimy pit, full of mud and mire. David was describing some experience of sin, sickness, or some depth of depression.

I remember my pit. It was filled with addictions, self hatred, self rejection, depression, so much darkness, I couldn’t see any light. I was in so much sin, and I felt hopeless. I knew God could do it for others, but not for me.

I remember being left under a bridge, beaten, half naked, left to die. I remember being hot, scared, and feeling helpless. I remember falling asleep, and having a vision of a man, he said, take my hand and I’ll get you to a safe place. I remember walking up the steps to Mary song and hearing many times after that, you’re in a safe place. I knew the man that visited me was Jesus.

I remember day after day God showing up and coming through for me. I remember feeling hopeless, then being filled with a great expectancy everyday and waiting on God to do the next amazing thing in my life.

I remember being downcast and negative about everything then I remember being filled with unspeakable joy and having a positive attitude about life. I remember giving God my old life and him making all things new. I remember a heaviness lifting and being clothed in a garment of praise. I remember being dead in my sin and awaken to the things of God.

I remember God whispering one word to my understanding and confirming that word over and over. I remember God‘s sustaining me day after day, and I would make it another day at Mary’s Song. I remember a dream God gave me to let me know I was in His perfect will. I remember God opening doors that no man can shut and shutting doors no man can open. I remember morning’s God would wake me up and say I just want to spend time with you and in doing that, I would be strengthened for the day. I remember God making ways in the wilderness and streams in the desert. I remember my leaders trusting me and me gaining my self worth back. I remember realizing who I am in Christ and with him nothing is impossible.

Cory ten Boom said: there is no pit so deep that God‘s love is not deeper still.

I remember the moment God‘s love super exceeded my pain. Then I remember the cross and what Jesus did for me. It’s then I am overwhelmed by His mercy, His grace, and His goodness. When I’m going through difficult times, I’m strengthen as I remember the times, God has came through and delivered me. I can only pray and hope that someone reads this and remembers the goodness of God and it becomes a source of strength for them as it has for me.